Our circumstances don’t determine how we think — it’s how we think about our circumstances that shapes everything. When we realise that, we reclaim our power. It all starts with our thoughts. Take control of your thinking, and you take control of your life. But many of us believe that feeling better requires changing something outside of us — more success, more stuff, more approval. That belief keeps us chasing, never thriving.
The truth:
Every emotions is created by a thought, not outcomes or circumstances.
Why Most Strategies Fail
We often try to fix our feelings through something external to us
- Feeling insecure → Buy new clothes
- Feeling not good enough → Obsess over how others perceive you
- Feeling lonely or bored → Mindlessly scroll
- Feeling emotionally overwhelmed → Eat to soothe
- Feeling anxious or empty → Pour a glass of wine or binge-watch shows
These are coping mechanisms, not solutions.
True change doesn’t come from fixing the outside. It comes from understanding the inside.
But the truth? Most of our discomfort isn’t solved out there — it starts in here.
The SuperCoachly Reframe
Feeling better doesn’t come from more — it comes from thought clarity.
Try this:
- Define the feeling you want to feel — peace, joy, confidence.
- Ask: What thoughts would produce that feeling?
- Choose intentionally: Decide to think those thoughts that produce the feeling you want.
Peace
- “Nothing has gone wrong here.”
- “I can handle whatever comes my way.”
- “I release what I can’t control and focus on what I can.”
Joy
- “This moment is enough.”
- “I’m creating a life I love, one choice at a time.”
- “I don’t need a reason to feel good — I can just feel good.”
Confidence
- “I figure things out as I go.”
- “I’ve done hard things before — I can do this too.”
- “I’m allowed to take up space and get it wrong while I grow.”
One of my personal overarching thoughts that has served me well is:
“Everything in my life happens for me never against me”
Thoughts are what shift our emotional state — even before something changes externally. Practising thinking thoughts that serve us and produce the emotions we want will change our behaviours and ultimately we will produce better results and a better life.
Practice This Today
- Think of an area where you feel unsettled.
- Ask: What thought am I telling myself about this?
- Notice the feeling that follows.
- Change the thought to something kind, steady, or empowering.
- Choose to think that instead — and feel the shift.
Repeat this when you feel stuck, scattered, or reactive.
Final Word
Feeling better isn’t about waiting for life to get easier — it’s about mastering your mind and thinking.
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